Thursday 27th Revisited

The Paracetamol drip didn't touch my pain so Morphine was administered orally which failed to stop the pain, so in the early hours I was given a Morphine injection, that seemed to do the trick :-)

I forgot to add that every night I was in hospital I was given a Heparin injection which is to stop my blood from clotting and I had to wear anti-emobilsm stockings for the same reason.

In the morning I was visited by 9 doctors much to the amusement and confusion of the other patients on my ward of 6 beds They seemed to think I was someone important and started asking lots of questions, I remained vague keeping the charade going, some fun must be had out of this) who I shall give a quick description of:

Opposite me was an elderly man, can't remember why he was there, but he kept trying to remove his catheter, much to the annoyance and frustration of everybody on the ward or who worked there, no one wanted to see him hurt himself by pulling it out or trying to wander about with it attached and all us patients continually! Chris, who had recently had a Haemorrhoid removal operation but not been able to do No 1's or 2's since, poor bloke, he was in agony :-( There was a lad in his 20's who was passing blood as well as Urine who went home today but came back in tomorrow?! Another guy who was an addict with a severed artery who apparently had been dead for a while but came back. He was waiting for his Methadone for days but managed to cope really well without it hahaha. Another guy who had Pancreas trouble and was in pain. When I moved to 8X on Friday night, Pancreas man and Chris would be there too.

Later this day K visited and came with me as the ported took me for my first scan. Apparently I was totally out of it making my drip tube in to a bubble blower pretending to blow bubbles and not making a lot of sense, this time is extremely vague for me, funnily enough.

This whole period of time just described and the following few days must have been a horrible period of time for K, I can not imagine what she went through, but she was strong for me :-)

I could only drink fluids this day but I slept better, physicals and mentally exhausted!

Wednesday 26th Revisited

The next week or so of entries are classed as "revisited", due to to the fact is actually Saturday 5th June. A lot has happened over the past week or so and I shall try my up-most to make my entries as accurate as possible as it has been a true roller-coaster of events! So here goes!

In the afternoon of last Wednesday I felt progressively worse, with my stomach pains increasing and generally feeling ill :-( I had made my mind up that after work I would go home, speak to K about it and go to A & E. On phoning K she, rightly, suggested meeting me at A & E rather than go home first, most definitely the right decision.

At the Royal I was seen quickly, bloods were taken and the prodding began. I was also diagnosed with being dehydrated which may account for the amount of urine I had passed over the last few days which I had commented on. As far as I remember I was put on a drip there and then?!

One thing must be added here and that is instead of donning a sensible pair of black or white underpants, I had my DJ headphones on, bloody typical eh?

I was given an anal probing by a young female doctor, not top of my list of things to be done but I guess an important way of diagnosis. My diagnosis at this stage was appendicitis,a correct diagnosis. A nurse  asked if he could have a prod about and virtually made my eyes pop out my head, as they say, he hit the nail on the head. Well done him!

Some X-Rays were performed and I was quickly admitted and to ward 8Y.

I have never been to hospital apart from a planned double knee arthrosopy carried out by the NHS in a private hospital, the Spire, in November last year, which I am still awaiting a follow up of 7 months later!

I was allowed to eat a sandwich that night and just drink fluids.

It was a very surreal situation and scary but K kept me in good spirits and was strong for both of us. I had a rough evening and night and was in lots of pain, at one point having one litre of fluids on a drip every 30 minutes.

Lunchtime Review

I still don't feel hungry but ate a toasted cheese sandwich but best to keep my strength up eh?! Still got the the stomach pain and no sign, as yet, of these tablets solving it but maybe I'll wake up tomorrow morning and feel better? Had a look at the BBC website but only bad news to report so can't be arsed to review it! I'm feeling a bit down but I think it is just because I feel rubbish inside. It is confusing for me as I am not sure if it is just a stomach bug or abdominal cramp or is it something more serious and I would benefit from going to A & E pronto and getting it diagnosed and sorted before anything more serious might happen? Am I being a drama queen or making a mountain out of a mole hill? Typical me, I don't want to waste anyone's time or use up valuable resources which could benefit someone else. But if I continue to feel this way I will have to get it sorted.

Yesterday revisited

Went to the doctors and saw the Locom which was quite entertaining due to the fact that when he gave his prognosis he literally turned his chair to face K and spoke to her the whole time, how bizarre when it is me with the problem. Anyway, he prescribed me Buscopan Hyoscine Butylbromide 10mg tablets which are basically for irritable Bowel Syndrome and should stop spasms in the bowel. Personally I don't think it is that but we'll wait and see and hopefully they will work. If nothing changes in a few days he suggested going to A & E. The pain woke me up in the night and I was awake for ages, and I nearly got to the point of waking K for us to go there last night but must of gone to sleep, woke up feeling just a little tender. The pain is worse than yesterday but not as bad as last night so am at work soldiering on :-)

We are trying to clear the recorded programs on our Sky box and watched an interesting program about the Revelations, I think I would actually like to read a bible starting from the beginning of the Old Testament. Never read one before and may be interesting? I love K!!!!!!

Lunchtime review

Don't feel hungry at all but made myself have a sandwich. I feel lousy and can't wait to see a doc tonight. I reckon it's just a bug but worth checking out eh? Just had a quick look at the BBC website to see lads of good news stacking up ........... not! S. Korea and N. Korea are waving their handbags at each other though I reckon this one may kick off but my reckoning is, if it doesn't then China would have put it's big boot in to calm it down rather than America. China, to me, seems to be the up and coming super super power putting the old super-powers in the shadows. Time will tell! The Conserlibs are announcing shed loads of cuts, no one seems to be that bothered at the moment but I reckon a few months down the line when it actually starts to affect the public things will start to get a bit heated! Here endeth the lunch time news < taps papers on desk, like they do on tv and pretends to move the mouse> hahaha.

My thought of the day!

Positivity is the key to happiness

Weekend Review

Had a fab weekend in Leeds :-) The weather was fantastic and eating alfresco style, playing with the G & L in the pool and chatting away was superb! On Sunday G's poem and singing was brilliant and the whole acting/singing and poems performed by all was great.

My stomach is still causing me grief and after 4 days of Gaviscon it has not improved, in fact, it has got worse. So much so we called  NHS Direct yesterday afternoon, but the best they could offer was to take pain-killers?! The one thing we think it could be, though it could be anything really, is my Appendix? I have an appointment at 17:30 so we shall see what is said then. I really want to get it sorted as I really want to get on with my keep-fit regime and go for a run but I don't think it is wise at the moment.

Lunchtime update

The weekend is nearly here TF! K is having a girlie day with J and I am at work looking forward to meeting up later. I am in 2x minds about this evening, half of me wants to get wrecked or at least have a few drinks, the other half wants to stay fit and go for a run later when we get home. AARRGGHH!!! what to do, I guess I shall wait until later to make this decision, It isn't something I have to worry about all afternoon and I will make the right decision later :-) My stomach thing is still bothering me, so staying away from alcohol < little voice in head going alcohol, mmmmmmm, go for it, you know you want to and then a phone call hehehehe> stuff would be the best option, and I have asked K to pick up some stomach acid stuff for me to give a go before heading down the docs.

We ran! Stomach pain, moan moan!

Last night K and I went for run :-) That's twice this week for me so very pleased. Only the short 2.2 mile one and walked a bit but good to get out there again.
I still have pains in my stomach, which is a bit weird, I don't suffer from bowel or stomach problems normally but it pretty constant and even woke me up in the night. So I am a bit worried about it. I haven't drank alcohol for over a week and half and I have ate healthily, it's not that my stomach muscles ache, it is deeper than that, everything seems to be working OK so may go to the doctors early next week if this continues.

We are off to Leeds tomorrow for the weekend to return on Monday, I am looking forward to seeing R, J, G and L and maybe, just maybe it won't rain, the forecast is good but it always rains when we are there, just have to wait and see :-)

My thought of the day!

You can't change the past, acknowledge it,move on.

HIPS have been abolished from today

As from today HIPS have been abolished?! There will be a lot of people with sore arms dragging their legs behind them! hehehe

Oh to travel and live elsewhere................even just for a while?

After "one of those days" (and only half way through the day) I was just thinking how great it would be if we just disappeared for a few months, rent a hut or small apartment close to a beach somewhere in the world, live cheap and just be us, sunning our bodies, swimming and strolling. Is it possible? Is it worth racking another Credit Card Up and pay for it later, probably not but ..........................

Yesterday

Met K in town after work, which was great :-) Did a bit of shopping then headed home. Decided not to go for a run as we had been walking for a few hours and that was probably enough, I was a bit achy from my run yesterday (and been getting a pain in my upper stomach which just seems to come and go, will see how i feel today but maybe go to doctors if persists) and K was shattered, big day for her, Did a great job of starting a database for my vinyl database then came to town and shopped, that's a big thing for K at the moment. Very proud of her, she looked funky with her red and white blazer, skinny grey jeans, white vest top with Converse baseball boots on and, wait for it, fake eye lashes on, always proud to be stepping out with her :-) Later that evening we watched a great film called "State of Play", brilliant film, worth a watch! Planning on a run tonight and looking forward to seeing how the database is progressing :-) Oh, had an idea last night when I went to bed for a poem, not sure if it is a poem or an observation, I shall work on it today and see where it takes me, I think it it will be called "The River of Life".

My thought of the day!

Do something you want to do, not what you think others want you to do.

I ran!

I ran last night! My motivation was low but I did it! It was more of a walk/jog/run over 2.2 miles but better than nothing. So as promised before this is going to be the start of my fitness regime again  . K wasn't feeling up for it as been very down for the last week or so but hopefully she will come out tonight :-) I really want/need to make this exercise work. To be honest I noticed that my breathing was more laboured than it had been in the past, so it is key that I keep it up for my health, surely that is motivating enough! It would be great to keep this up and go in for a 5k no, let's set our sights higher - a 10k run! I don't think that will be this summer but there is no reason I couldn't attempt one in the Autumn! <the crowd yawns, turn to each other and mutter,"yeah yeah heard it all before >

My thought of the day!

Your ego stops you from getting on with your life.

Mohawk to Nohawk

My mohawk, which reappeared last year in Ibiza after about 25 years has, again, been removed. Let's be honest to carry off a mohawk properly you have to be confident in yourself and not be intimidated by others, or be bothered by people staring at you as that's what people do. I am not feeling confident enough to wear it and I wasn't doing it justice. K was doing a fab job of cutting it in and shaving my head but for now I am sporting a shaved head, which i have had for many years before. I am sure I will be sporting my mohawk again soon :-)

Emotional Roller coaster

Today I made a personal observation, not ground breaking stuff but here goes............................. My emotions through the day are like a roller-coaster, one minute I am confident and positive and the next I am fed up and can't see the point etc. Now here it comes ..................... I reckon everybody else is the same < The crowd gasp at how long it took him to get this, then give a standing ovation>.

I can't help feeling fed up sometimes and the more I try to rectify it the more I think about it and the worse it is?! So just letting happen in the moment, acknowledge the fact that is how I am feeling and just get on with it, I reckon I should return to positive thoughts quicker that way?!

If I could just solve the work situation and be happy with what I do, I reckon I have nailed it! I have a parter I love to bits, a great daughter, fab friends, just got to be happy with my work and all will be good. K being better would be great but me walking about being fed up with work ain't helping so I shall sort myself out!

As Ronan once said...........Life is a Roller-coaster, you just got to ride it!!!!

PMA! all the way!!!!!

The Weekend Reviewed:

Had a fabulous weekend :-) From shopping on Friday with a Morissons Curry for two, gardening Saturday, Sunday and Monday (due to my 4x day week). Been knackered every night due to gardening for over 6 hours a day, but as K would say "Good, honest tiredness" due to hard labour in the garden. It was great to spend time together laughing and chatting while doing the garden. On Saturday we removed the little garden area under the kitchen window ready for grey slate to go down, tidied the garage, planted plants. K cut down the rose bush by the blossom tree and we removed the root. I also removed a big old shrub from the bottom right hand side of the garden and removed the rotten old root too! K planted some plants round in the front garden while I removed some weeds from the front path. Then, oh yes there is more, we popped round Aunty Mary's put a handle up by her back door and tidied her garden a bit too! Sunday was also spent gardening including cutting down a rotten stump from the cherry tree and screwing a corner shelf I found in the garage on it to create a "bird plateau" haha :-) Aunty Mary had a doctors visit on Monday morning, we then made a quick trip to the shops then home to continue working in the garden, don't want to waste God's good sunshine now! Really enjoyed the weekend of good times; good food and better company.There is also an important point i need to make and that is < cue fanfare from trumpts> We didn't drink any alcohol at all, in fact we haven't had any alcohol since Wednesday last week!

The need to sort my life out! PMA all the way!

I have decided this Friday lunchtime that enough is enough and a good dose of PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) is required for both me and K! We should concentrate on the positive things in life how good it is to be alive. If we want something to happen - it is up to us to change it! Don't dwell on shit - make shit better or not worry about the shit at all!!

I am really chuckling at this now, I had a moment of PMA and enlightenment, then phoned K and passed my enthusiasm on, which she embraced and is on the roller-coaster with me and and it all starts when I get home We will release the break and go on this PMA journey together!! Bring it on!! Obviously in the back of my mind there is this nagging doubt and we will slip back in to our ways, but I shall put that out of my mind again < pushes nagging doubt to side of head using special powers, out the ear and hears it go "thud" on the floor> . I can't wait to get home to the love of my life and brace for the PMA ride :-) woo hoo! Strap us in, we are going on the ride of our life!!! :-))

Feeling the need to get Inked again!

It's about time I added some colour to my last tattoo! It must be about a year since my Thai Warrior was done, means more to think it was a photo we took in Thailand :-) It will be staying mainly plain but green needs to be added to the leaves and I the national flower is pink with yellow stamens, as far as I remember! There is about 3 hours left to do in colouring but I will book in a short, cheaper session for now. So I am well on the way to completing all of my left arm now. I have Kirsten written in Thai on the inside of my left forearm and Buddha with 7x waves on my forearm. I always forget the skull tattoo on the back of my neck (which is currently my profile picture). Any way back to the subject in hand, my left arm, I want an elephants eye with a waterfall coming out of the wrinkles below the eyes and then the rest of the arm can be made up of Thai patterns!  Bring on the pain!!

Insomnia Again and the Alcohol Connection AARRGHHH!!!!

Insomnia, that bastard, came to visit me last night. Haven't suffered from it for ages but he visited last night and stayed quite a while! Soooooooooo frustrating but I think I know the reason for his visit ....... have been drinking wine and beer quite a bit over the last few weeks but stopped a few days ago as I don't want to drink all the time. Whenever I stop drinking all together I get what K calls "the terrors" which consists of the sweats and insomnia, brain going in to over-drive as soon as you turn the lights out and lay your head on the pillow - AAARRRGGHHH!!!

  It's not that i have a problem with drink but I do enjoy a drink in the evening, chillaxing and watching tv, like most people really :-) But I don't want to drink all the time as it does become habitual and I want to get fit. I am 43, smoked since I was 13 and drank from then too I guess as well as the other thing through most of my life too. It is time to realise that every thing is good in moderation but it is time to make a bit more effort in looking after myself. I enjoy running, well sometimes I do. Maybe when we have a bit more money we should buy a couple of bikes as that is my favourite method of staying fit, but money is tight, that will have to wait and make do with what we have: fully functional legs, well sort of! hehe

The Iclandic Ash Cloud.....

..... has reined havoc for a while now, personally it hasn't affected me, and I am amazed so much palaver is being made about it. It is a natural thing to occur, It comes from a volcano and there is not a lot we can do about it, I understand it's because of the weather patterns that the affect is so great. Normally we have southerly winds this time of year but they are currently northerly winds.

I am sorry that people's holidays, trips and work has been upset but that is just nature! 6 days of no flying over the UK last month and lots of disruption this month already, I guess this could go on for years! It just goes to prove how small the world is now and how much we take flying for granted!

It amazes me is that every one wants compensation, Easyjet, and I am sure other airlines,  are saying they lost £75m last month and are going to apply to the government for compensation, well where is that money going to come from, the tax payer!!!!???? If you choose to run an airline, that is the risk you take that sometimes you can't fly, and if your business goes bust because of it, oh well, another airline will come along. If you can't get insurance against volcanic ash why should the tax payer pay for your loss of revenue.

I am sure it is going to have an impact on holidays, weddings, sporting events and business (British Airways will be OK as their cabin crew are suppose to be on strike for 5 days next week anyway), that's life, get on with it and be thankful that you are not falling from the skies at break-neck speeds 'cos you have volcanic ash seizing up your aircraft.

I will find the North Star (The Pole star named Polaris)

I am starting to enjoy looking at the stars more and want to learn the names of the different constellations and see if I can locate any planets.
I would like a little telescope but for now, due to finances I shall enjoy looking at them with the naked eye :-)

I do believe that the phases of the moon affect our moods and this is something I also wish to explore. I have been more convinced of this with Aunty Mary's dementia. She certainly seems to be more confused and agitated when the moon is full, to be honest she is normally worse a few day's after.

I shall report back later to see if the diagram above and the instructions below work! I hope it will be a clear night and I remember to do it! haha

Locating the North Star is easy if you follow this simple diagram.
First, find the Big Dipper.  Draw an straight line between the two stars of the Big Dipper as shown, toward the Little Dipper.
The North Star is located at the end of the handle of the Little Dipper.
The North Star always points in the direction of True North.  For this reason it has been used as and aid to navigation for many centuries.

Eco-Warriors RAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! Oh, and Dementia

As we have been doing so much work in the garden after years of just letting it look after itself maybe we should do just a lit bit more for the environment and get a compost bin and a water butt. I know money is tight but it wouldn't cost that much and the deal from the council using their website is pretty good, http://www.liverpool.getcomposting.com/  .

We have done dug over the centre rockery bit, well K has done most of the digging 'cos as she says' "I like digging, I do!". She finds it therapeutic in the fresh air and doing something physical which I think will help her recovery from depression. YEAH!!!

The garden looks better than ever since we got rid of our gardener, I have been mowing the lawn, and even out the front where our garden meets our neighbours I have been mowing right across instead of going half way. We don't talk much except for polite passing the time of the day, but Kit ha reciprocated, so that is good for neighbourly bridge-building.

I shall put some photos up to show our good work, we are both enjoying it and I am looking forward to a "sensible weekend" spending time with K and getting out in the fresh air. There are so many jobs to do but it is good to do things for the property.

Aunty Mary hasn't been so much recently but we are managing the situation differently since we came back from Feurteventura. We don't answer the door every time she knocks, she is fine and I think by pandering to her needs we are creating the problem. On Sunday just gone we didn't answer the door all day woooo hoooo! Presently there is no door knocking in the night or generally early morning so it seems the dementia tablets are working :-)

A World in Financial Crisis

I believe financial meltdown is well on the way and you just can't keep printing money to throw at the problem. People have much to many expectations and spare time and want physical things to fill that time up. We are all guilty of this, I am aware of my guilt and also aware of the problem so I guess that's a good thing and I will try not to spend money but enjoy what I have got and the time I can spend with others! 

I am particularly interested with what is happening to Euro-zone countries and the problems with Greece and the up and coming problems with Portugal and Spain, again chucking about 750 Billion Euros at the problem is not going to solve it but I don't think that any country leaders know what to do about it without really pissing their people off and are just hoping it goes away before drastic action is really required.

Hung Parliament

Well, today the Conservatives and the Lib Dems have become one and are now putting their team together. I reckon this has done Labour a favour and they were wise not to get involved in the end as I reckon after 4 years of mixed opinions and the Cons and the Libs start blaming each other, Labour will get voted in next time, not that I think that is great news but I shall just have to wait and see!

This hung-parliament is the first our generation has ever seen (well I was a small boy then anyway. It will be interesting to see if a coalition can work together to sort the mess this country is in, let alone Europe and the rest of world.

China killings WTF?!?!?!

Over the last few weeks there has been numerous children in china killed in school. What bring some one to kill innocent children? It seems that the official means to combat this is to give security people long metal pitch forks and pepper spray?!?!

1. What brings someone ot do such a cowardly act?

2. What a bizarre way to deal with it!

I shall attempt to blog more!

Looking at my google account I can see that I haven't bogged for a while. I have written some more poetry but as previously state that is at my scribd page where i have had about 1500 readers so far! I write for myself but I am pleased that some people have read them :-) http://www.scribd.com/nickbest

Things are so so at the moment, but I am feeling more positive and hopefully things are on the up :-) K is still a down but hopefully starting to feel better, she seems much better in herself which is great.

Graeme has come up with a tai chi website idea for us to explore and hopefully make us able to follow our dreams. We all have love  which many people don't have but a little financial luck wouldn't go amiss!

I am going to start a database of my vinyl as it may need extra insurance, that will be fun to do and listten to some old house tracks in the process, I wonder what the replacement value will be?

We have been enjoying the garden recently and we assumed it would be a cheap way hobby, yeah right! We keep buying stuff for it but if we just keep digging it over for a while and plant what we have it will be therapeutic, as Kirsten says: "I like digging  I do!! hahaha :-)

I love Kirsten!!!!!!

K is away tonight

Feeling a bit fed up right now as K is away for the night with work, I always feel a bit down when she is not around, she is my rock, my light, my world. They are all good positive things and even just writing those words I feel more upbeat. The power of writing or even just saying positive things is amazing and should not be forgotten. I will get back to my work feeling much better now :-)

I have published my poems....

.... I have opened a Scribd account and uploaded  the 6 poems I have put on my blog so far. OMG they have been read by people, somewhere in the world. I am so excited! I have neved considered other people reading my poems. I really am excited and can't wait to tell Kirsten.

All future poems will be published direct to Scribd and I will use this blog for my life!

http://www.scribd.com/NickBest

Poem: The Banker (written about the Financial Crisis)

The banker is a wanker

The country's up the wall

The banker is a wanker

He's gone and spunked it all

The banker is a wanker

Still expecting his bonus

The banker is a wanker

Paid by all of us

The banker is a wanker

Spending all our cash

The banker is a wanker

Hit the button, gone in a flash

The banker is a wanker

Thinks he'd better than us

The banker is a wanker

What's with all the fuss

The banker is a wanker

Here we go again

The banker is a wanker

More money to spend in vain

The banker is a wanker

Government bailed him out

The banker is a wanker

Our money he will flout

Poem: Acid Rain

If the rain that fell was acid

And the food we ate were pills

The world would be a happy place

No guns no fights no kills.

If the snow that fell was coke

And the salt on chips was speed

A violent world would follow

My warning you should heed.

The legals become illegal

Then others take their place

Plant Food is now king

What's next? Watch this space.

Poem: Snow

It's starting to snow

Laying on the grass

Will it go quick

Or take time to pass

Will it lay thick 

Or will it lay thin

Very cold out 

Best to stay in

Walking boots on

To prevent a slip

Best be safe

Don't want a broken hip

I like the snow

Some people moan

Problems with journeys

All want to get home

England's normally wet

This time it's white

The sky is all dark

That chill it does bite

Enjoy it now 

It will soon be gone

The summer will be here

Let's hope it's not long

Poem from Emily (sent 03/11/09)

hello daddy,

The poem you wrote me was very touching, whenever i read it i get tears in my eyes. I thought i'd write you one in return, im e-mailing it to you because it is luck for your operation. So, here it goes;

Dad I love You With All My Heart

You And Kirsten Are Always On My Mind

It Doesn't Really Matter That We Live Far Apart

You, Me And Kirsten, Together We Bind

I always make you proud of me

That is one of my many dreams

My love for you no-one can buy

You dont understand what this poem means

To me you are the greatest father figure

The person i can always look up to

We go together like Pooh and Tigger

No dad could ever be as great as you

I love coming to your Liverpuddlien home

And meeting all your clubbing friends

Our relationship has definately grown

My discription for you never ends

I put my heart and soul into this little rhyme

I prey that you liked reading it

I know that it is just a mere few lines

But i edited this poem bit by bit.

THANKYOU FOR BEING THERE DADDY I LOVEYOUU X X X X X X X X

The First 5k Run of the Year

Last night we ran our 1st 5k of the year :-) We have been eating so much more healthily since Christmas and K has produced some amazing dinners and home-made soup all with her own stock, none of that salty bought rubbish!

We actually ran most of the way only walked for about 10 seconds mid-route and then from the post box to the house which I count as a warm down. It was a major achievement and now we have started again I do believe we will keep it up and soon be reaping the benefits of our fitter bodies and minds. On the Monday we did buy some running tights and other running gear so although we spent money, when you have new running gear you gotta use it!

This morning we are tired and a bit achy but it's all good! K may do her Tibetans and I may try a bit of exercise ball work.

Healthy body = Healthy Mind: PMA all the way!! (Positive Mental Attitude)

Emily's 13th Birthday Poem (11/10/09)

A Poem for Emily’s 13^th Birthday

You’re going be a teenager

Another year has gone

Better to write a poem

Than an embarrassing song

Your thirteenth birthday is here

That is a kind of mad

For all those thirteen years

I am proud to be your dad

I look forward to your future

And see what you will do

As long as your are happy

That’s all I ask of you

You are the greatest daughter

You always make me smile

My love for you is stacked so high

In an un-measurable pile

Though we are not always near

We are never far apart

Think of all the jokes we play

Pull my finger and drop a fart

You are my special girl

And much more fun we will have

Happy thirteenth birthday Emily

With love from your dad xxxxx

My Heart

I have just calculated my heart age using the Flora Heart Age Calculator and for a 43 year to have his heart age calculated at 55 may not be good. So I know I should not smoke but I am getting ready to quit, state of mind and will power is important, and I am not just using that as an excuse to put it off. I have smoked now for 30 years and am aware of the damage it does and keen to kick the habit.  I am 6' 3", weigh 14st 10lb which gives me a bmi of about 25 which is high but not only borderline off healthy.

I do, however, have to question how they can make that calculation with minimum information and they didn't ask me any food questions, I don't eat ready meals, very rarely eat take-aways, Ok the drinking had started to creep up but we have even decided to give that up too; 1. because of money and 2. we felt better not drinking. We don't have a car so do a lot of walking. We are starting to go running again tonight because we know we should be fitter and this sudden surge activity isn't to do with some heart age calculator.

Maybe I am not given this piece of software justice and it is accurate so I will look at my heart age of 55 being a positive and good thing.....

My heart is legendary and has matured beyond it's natural age

It is full of love, and the experiences it encountered through my life

 has made it grow and become mature. 

It is a wise heart who can not be fooled or given the run around. 

If my heart had glasses they would be half ones and my heart would peer over them in a knowing confident way. 

Young hearts would look up to it and they would all gather round to listen to its stories and tales with open eyes.

 My heart has been in battles and has been hurt on many occasions, 

but it is strong and keen to live on! 

I love you Kirsten! xx

The White Isle Beckons

I find myself taking a cigarette break at work and stand outside the back door on a cold, rainy day, typical of this time of year, thinking of that White Isle and how great it would be to live there! An urgent plan is required. Maybe if we clear those plastic cards as we promised to do, a holiday there this year at least. It is the one place we really come alive and it's not just about the partying, it's about being the real us. We both feel like we belong there and we settle in to the way of life, dressing down in flip-flops, shorts and t-shirts all day long, that is how I am meant to dress. not long trousers, jumpers and coats.

We were born to be in Ibiza and Ibiza was born for us!

Poem: Just a Tad (Written on the 79 going home 01/02/10)

Just a Tad

Sometimes I'm good
Sometimes I'm bad

Sometimes I'm annoying

Well, just a tad

Sometimes I laugh

Sometimes I cry

Sometimes I am sad

Well, just a tad

Sometimes I am funny

Sometimes I am silly

Sometimes I am mad

Well, just a tad

Sometimes I try
Sometimes I don't
Sometimes I'm Lazy
Well, just a tad

I want to live

I am in love

My life is great

And not just a tad

No Facebook - I'm free!

Well it has been about a month since I deleted my Facebook account and I feel free!!! It became an issue when I was planning my day around playing Mafia Wars and that was the time to just say no!

I also got sick of being drawn in to friends leading and miserable status bars! There is a lot wrong with Social Networks and I hope their demise will come sooner rather than later. People's social skills are being eroded away by this anti-social self gratification type website! I guess it's a good thing to use if you don't have any social skills and no friends but apart from that people should interact with others in a social environment!

Three Silver Bracelets

When K and I were holidaying/partying in Ibiza last year a thought came in to my head that  I needed to wear 3 solid silver bracelets but all different designs all the time:

1x represents love (to love and be loved)
1x represents strength (to have strength and to give strength to others)
1x represents friendship (to have proper friends and to be a proper friend)

These are the only three things I need in my life which I am lucky enough to have,  I hope that others can feel that I give them too.

If I feel that one of my proper friends needs a power up or support I may lend them out so they can feel and use the force that the particular bracelet represents.

My proper friends have all the above elements themselves but do not have to have a representation of it. Why do I need to have representation?

Tana Ramsey a celebrity?

Eating lunch and reading the BBC website I stumble across the headline "Tana Ramsey out of Dancing on Ice  - Gordon Ramsey's wife Tana has become the latest celebrity to be voted off ITV1's Dancing On Ice show".

Since when has the partner of a celebrity (I use the word celebrity loosely) been a celebrity?

Fax to the Prime Minster 19/01/10 re: Haiti

Fax Message re: Haiti

To: The Prime Minister (fax) 020 7925 0918

Date: Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Cc (by email):

Nick Clegg

David Cameron

Sam Daws 

José Manuel Barroso

President Barack Obama

From:

(Info removed for public publishing!)

Dear Mr Brown

I, like many others, are saddened by the events in Haiti and wish the country a speedy recovery though I feel it will be a long and painful one. 

Nature is a powerful force and I believe that natural disasters such as this will be on the increase around the world including our own Country. Are there adequate contingencies in place to deal with a disaster such as this considering our days of being a self-sufficient island are long gone?

The relief effort organised by many countries is commendable but I am dismayed at the time it is taking to get it to the outer-lying regions. I also understand that security measures must be put in place for the safety of everyone in Haiti as people become hungry, frustrated and martial law begins to take over.

However I am extremely concerned with the Agenda of America in this relief effort especially taking in to consideration its position to Cuba. An aircraft carrier was quick to assist and now we hear that aid is being delayed getting in to Haiti due to the volume of US military aircraft flying in to the country as well as America taking over control of the airports.

To be honest this is beginning to sound like a military take over and I am hopeful that the UK, The United Nations, European Union will be strong enough to maintain some control of the situation and ensure the people of Haiti and the rebuilding of the country remains the main priority.

I would welcome comments and assurances from all recipients of this email.

Yours sincerely

Last Night I Ate a Scorpion!

Yesterday evening we drank a couple of bottle of nice Shiraz wine and then emptied the dregs from the drinks cupboard (not a good idea). About 4 or 5 years ago Max and Glen bought me a small bottle of Vodka for in a secret-santa I think, inside the bottle was a scorpion which had been prepared for human consumption and last night I ate it (K has the photos on her phone to prove it).

Definitely going to stop drinking for a while now, I felt so much better for the 2x weeks after new year I abstained!

Stressful Times

There seem to be so much going on in our lives at the moment and it puts added pressure on us! Aunty Mary next door with her dementia, knocking at the front door many times a day, I know she can't help it but when you have to go in to just turn the telly down or change channels it can get a bit annoying, K's nan being in hospital who is not well and not eating is upsetting to see.

Caring for people is a good thing but we have to live our lives too.

Am I being selfish with that last comment?

Another year another attempt at blogging!

Well here  I am again, attempting to do another blog! I think I managed about 7x posts last time after bigging the idea up to my friends and saying what a great thing it was and how I found it therapeutic to empty my head in a blog! haha. Well this is post one and if I make it past post 7 I guess it has been a success!