Yesterday revisited

Went to the doctors and saw the Locom which was quite entertaining due to the fact that when he gave his prognosis he literally turned his chair to face K and spoke to her the whole time, how bizarre when it is me with the problem. Anyway, he prescribed me Buscopan Hyoscine Butylbromide 10mg tablets which are basically for irritable Bowel Syndrome and should stop spasms in the bowel. Personally I don't think it is that but we'll wait and see and hopefully they will work. If nothing changes in a few days he suggested going to A & E. The pain woke me up in the night and I was awake for ages, and I nearly got to the point of waking K for us to go there last night but must of gone to sleep, woke up feeling just a little tender. The pain is worse than yesterday but not as bad as last night so am at work soldiering on :-)

We are trying to clear the recorded programs on our Sky box and watched an interesting program about the Revelations, I think I would actually like to read a bible starting from the beginning of the Old Testament. Never read one before and may be interesting? I love K!!!!!!

Emotional Roller coaster

Today I made a personal observation, not ground breaking stuff but here goes............................. My emotions through the day are like a roller-coaster, one minute I am confident and positive and the next I am fed up and can't see the point etc. Now here it comes ..................... I reckon everybody else is the same < The crowd gasp at how long it took him to get this, then give a standing ovation>.

I can't help feeling fed up sometimes and the more I try to rectify it the more I think about it and the worse it is?! So just letting happen in the moment, acknowledge the fact that is how I am feeling and just get on with it, I reckon I should return to positive thoughts quicker that way?!

If I could just solve the work situation and be happy with what I do, I reckon I have nailed it! I have a parter I love to bits, a great daughter, fab friends, just got to be happy with my work and all will be good. K being better would be great but me walking about being fed up with work ain't helping so I shall sort myself out!

As Ronan once said...........Life is a Roller-coaster, you just got to ride it!!!!

PMA! all the way!!!!!

The need to sort my life out! PMA all the way!

I have decided this Friday lunchtime that enough is enough and a good dose of PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) is required for both me and K! We should concentrate on the positive things in life how good it is to be alive. If we want something to happen - it is up to us to change it! Don't dwell on shit - make shit better or not worry about the shit at all!!

I am really chuckling at this now, I had a moment of PMA and enlightenment, then phoned K and passed my enthusiasm on, which she embraced and is on the roller-coaster with me and and it all starts when I get home We will release the break and go on this PMA journey together!! Bring it on!! Obviously in the back of my mind there is this nagging doubt and we will slip back in to our ways, but I shall put that out of my mind again < pushes nagging doubt to side of head using special powers, out the ear and hears it go "thud" on the floor> . I can't wait to get home to the love of my life and brace for the PMA ride :-) woo hoo! Strap us in, we are going on the ride of our life!!! :-))

Eco-Warriors RAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! Oh, and Dementia

As we have been doing so much work in the garden after years of just letting it look after itself maybe we should do just a lit bit more for the environment and get a compost bin and a water butt. I know money is tight but it wouldn't cost that much and the deal from the council using their website is pretty good, http://www.liverpool.getcomposting.com/  .

We have done dug over the centre rockery bit, well K has done most of the digging 'cos as she says' "I like digging, I do!". She finds it therapeutic in the fresh air and doing something physical which I think will help her recovery from depression. YEAH!!!

The garden looks better than ever since we got rid of our gardener, I have been mowing the lawn, and even out the front where our garden meets our neighbours I have been mowing right across instead of going half way. We don't talk much except for polite passing the time of the day, but Kit ha reciprocated, so that is good for neighbourly bridge-building.

I shall put some photos up to show our good work, we are both enjoying it and I am looking forward to a "sensible weekend" spending time with K and getting out in the fresh air. There are so many jobs to do but it is good to do things for the property.

Aunty Mary hasn't been so much recently but we are managing the situation differently since we came back from Feurteventura. We don't answer the door every time she knocks, she is fine and I think by pandering to her needs we are creating the problem. On Sunday just gone we didn't answer the door all day woooo hoooo! Presently there is no door knocking in the night or generally early morning so it seems the dementia tablets are working :-)

I shall attempt to blog more!

Looking at my google account I can see that I haven't bogged for a while. I have written some more poetry but as previously state that is at my scribd page where i have had about 1500 readers so far! I write for myself but I am pleased that some people have read them :-) http://www.scribd.com/nickbest

Things are so so at the moment, but I am feeling more positive and hopefully things are on the up :-) K is still a down but hopefully starting to feel better, she seems much better in herself which is great.

Graeme has come up with a tai chi website idea for us to explore and hopefully make us able to follow our dreams. We all have love  which many people don't have but a little financial luck wouldn't go amiss!

I am going to start a database of my vinyl as it may need extra insurance, that will be fun to do and listten to some old house tracks in the process, I wonder what the replacement value will be?

We have been enjoying the garden recently and we assumed it would be a cheap way hobby, yeah right! We keep buying stuff for it but if we just keep digging it over for a while and plant what we have it will be therapeutic, as Kirsten says: "I like digging  I do!! hahaha :-)

I love Kirsten!!!!!!

K is away tonight

Feeling a bit fed up right now as K is away for the night with work, I always feel a bit down when she is not around, she is my rock, my light, my world. They are all good positive things and even just writing those words I feel more upbeat. The power of writing or even just saying positive things is amazing and should not be forgotten. I will get back to my work feeling much better now :-)

Emily's 13th Birthday Poem (11/10/09)

A Poem for Emily’s 13^th Birthday

You’re going be a teenager

Another year has gone

Better to write a poem

Than an embarrassing song

Your thirteenth birthday is here

That is a kind of mad

For all those thirteen years

I am proud to be your dad

I look forward to your future

And see what you will do

As long as your are happy

That’s all I ask of you

You are the greatest daughter

You always make me smile

My love for you is stacked so high

In an un-measurable pile

Though we are not always near

We are never far apart

Think of all the jokes we play

Pull my finger and drop a fart

You are my special girl

And much more fun we will have

Happy thirteenth birthday Emily

With love from your dad xxxxx

My Heart

I have just calculated my heart age using the Flora Heart Age Calculator and for a 43 year to have his heart age calculated at 55 may not be good. So I know I should not smoke but I am getting ready to quit, state of mind and will power is important, and I am not just using that as an excuse to put it off. I have smoked now for 30 years and am aware of the damage it does and keen to kick the habit.  I am 6' 3", weigh 14st 10lb which gives me a bmi of about 25 which is high but not only borderline off healthy.

I do, however, have to question how they can make that calculation with minimum information and they didn't ask me any food questions, I don't eat ready meals, very rarely eat take-aways, Ok the drinking had started to creep up but we have even decided to give that up too; 1. because of money and 2. we felt better not drinking. We don't have a car so do a lot of walking. We are starting to go running again tonight because we know we should be fitter and this sudden surge activity isn't to do with some heart age calculator.

Maybe I am not given this piece of software justice and it is accurate so I will look at my heart age of 55 being a positive and good thing.....

My heart is legendary and has matured beyond it's natural age

It is full of love, and the experiences it encountered through my life

 has made it grow and become mature. 

It is a wise heart who can not be fooled or given the run around. 

If my heart had glasses they would be half ones and my heart would peer over them in a knowing confident way. 

Young hearts would look up to it and they would all gather round to listen to its stories and tales with open eyes.

 My heart has been in battles and has been hurt on many occasions, 

but it is strong and keen to live on! 

I love you Kirsten! xx

Three Silver Bracelets

When K and I were holidaying/partying in Ibiza last year a thought came in to my head that  I needed to wear 3 solid silver bracelets but all different designs all the time:

1x represents love (to love and be loved)
1x represents strength (to have strength and to give strength to others)
1x represents friendship (to have proper friends and to be a proper friend)

These are the only three things I need in my life which I am lucky enough to have,  I hope that others can feel that I give them too.

If I feel that one of my proper friends needs a power up or support I may lend them out so they can feel and use the force that the particular bracelet represents.

My proper friends have all the above elements themselves but do not have to have a representation of it. Why do I need to have representation?