Oh to travel and live elsewhere................even just for a while?

After "one of those days" (and only half way through the day) I was just thinking how great it would be if we just disappeared for a few months, rent a hut or small apartment close to a beach somewhere in the world, live cheap and just be us, sunning our bodies, swimming and strolling. Is it possible? Is it worth racking another Credit Card Up and pay for it later, probably not but ..........................

Emotional Roller coaster

Today I made a personal observation, not ground breaking stuff but here goes............................. My emotions through the day are like a roller-coaster, one minute I am confident and positive and the next I am fed up and can't see the point etc. Now here it comes ..................... I reckon everybody else is the same < The crowd gasp at how long it took him to get this, then give a standing ovation>.

I can't help feeling fed up sometimes and the more I try to rectify it the more I think about it and the worse it is?! So just letting happen in the moment, acknowledge the fact that is how I am feeling and just get on with it, I reckon I should return to positive thoughts quicker that way?!

If I could just solve the work situation and be happy with what I do, I reckon I have nailed it! I have a parter I love to bits, a great daughter, fab friends, just got to be happy with my work and all will be good. K being better would be great but me walking about being fed up with work ain't helping so I shall sort myself out!

As Ronan once said...........Life is a Roller-coaster, you just got to ride it!!!!

PMA! all the way!!!!!

The Weekend Reviewed:

Had a fabulous weekend :-) From shopping on Friday with a Morissons Curry for two, gardening Saturday, Sunday and Monday (due to my 4x day week). Been knackered every night due to gardening for over 6 hours a day, but as K would say "Good, honest tiredness" due to hard labour in the garden. It was great to spend time together laughing and chatting while doing the garden. On Saturday we removed the little garden area under the kitchen window ready for grey slate to go down, tidied the garage, planted plants. K cut down the rose bush by the blossom tree and we removed the root. I also removed a big old shrub from the bottom right hand side of the garden and removed the rotten old root too! K planted some plants round in the front garden while I removed some weeds from the front path. Then, oh yes there is more, we popped round Aunty Mary's put a handle up by her back door and tidied her garden a bit too! Sunday was also spent gardening including cutting down a rotten stump from the cherry tree and screwing a corner shelf I found in the garage on it to create a "bird plateau" haha :-) Aunty Mary had a doctors visit on Monday morning, we then made a quick trip to the shops then home to continue working in the garden, don't want to waste God's good sunshine now! Really enjoyed the weekend of good times; good food and better company.There is also an important point i need to make and that is < cue fanfare from trumpts> We didn't drink any alcohol at all, in fact we haven't had any alcohol since Wednesday last week!

The need to sort my life out! PMA all the way!

I have decided this Friday lunchtime that enough is enough and a good dose of PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) is required for both me and K! We should concentrate on the positive things in life how good it is to be alive. If we want something to happen - it is up to us to change it! Don't dwell on shit - make shit better or not worry about the shit at all!!

I am really chuckling at this now, I had a moment of PMA and enlightenment, then phoned K and passed my enthusiasm on, which she embraced and is on the roller-coaster with me and and it all starts when I get home We will release the break and go on this PMA journey together!! Bring it on!! Obviously in the back of my mind there is this nagging doubt and we will slip back in to our ways, but I shall put that out of my mind again < pushes nagging doubt to side of head using special powers, out the ear and hears it go "thud" on the floor> . I can't wait to get home to the love of my life and brace for the PMA ride :-) woo hoo! Strap us in, we are going on the ride of our life!!! :-))

Feeling the need to get Inked again!

It's about time I added some colour to my last tattoo! It must be about a year since my Thai Warrior was done, means more to think it was a photo we took in Thailand :-) It will be staying mainly plain but green needs to be added to the leaves and I the national flower is pink with yellow stamens, as far as I remember! There is about 3 hours left to do in colouring but I will book in a short, cheaper session for now. So I am well on the way to completing all of my left arm now. I have Kirsten written in Thai on the inside of my left forearm and Buddha with 7x waves on my forearm. I always forget the skull tattoo on the back of my neck (which is currently my profile picture). Any way back to the subject in hand, my left arm, I want an elephants eye with a waterfall coming out of the wrinkles below the eyes and then the rest of the arm can be made up of Thai patterns!  Bring on the pain!!

Insomnia Again and the Alcohol Connection AARRGHHH!!!!

Insomnia, that bastard, came to visit me last night. Haven't suffered from it for ages but he visited last night and stayed quite a while! Soooooooooo frustrating but I think I know the reason for his visit ....... have been drinking wine and beer quite a bit over the last few weeks but stopped a few days ago as I don't want to drink all the time. Whenever I stop drinking all together I get what K calls "the terrors" which consists of the sweats and insomnia, brain going in to over-drive as soon as you turn the lights out and lay your head on the pillow - AAARRRGGHHH!!!

  It's not that i have a problem with drink but I do enjoy a drink in the evening, chillaxing and watching tv, like most people really :-) But I don't want to drink all the time as it does become habitual and I want to get fit. I am 43, smoked since I was 13 and drank from then too I guess as well as the other thing through most of my life too. It is time to realise that every thing is good in moderation but it is time to make a bit more effort in looking after myself. I enjoy running, well sometimes I do. Maybe when we have a bit more money we should buy a couple of bikes as that is my favourite method of staying fit, but money is tight, that will have to wait and make do with what we have: fully functional legs, well sort of! hehe

Eco-Warriors RAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!! Oh, and Dementia

As we have been doing so much work in the garden after years of just letting it look after itself maybe we should do just a lit bit more for the environment and get a compost bin and a water butt. I know money is tight but it wouldn't cost that much and the deal from the council using their website is pretty good, http://www.liverpool.getcomposting.com/  .

We have done dug over the centre rockery bit, well K has done most of the digging 'cos as she says' "I like digging, I do!". She finds it therapeutic in the fresh air and doing something physical which I think will help her recovery from depression. YEAH!!!

The garden looks better than ever since we got rid of our gardener, I have been mowing the lawn, and even out the front where our garden meets our neighbours I have been mowing right across instead of going half way. We don't talk much except for polite passing the time of the day, but Kit ha reciprocated, so that is good for neighbourly bridge-building.

I shall put some photos up to show our good work, we are both enjoying it and I am looking forward to a "sensible weekend" spending time with K and getting out in the fresh air. There are so many jobs to do but it is good to do things for the property.

Aunty Mary hasn't been so much recently but we are managing the situation differently since we came back from Feurteventura. We don't answer the door every time she knocks, she is fine and I think by pandering to her needs we are creating the problem. On Sunday just gone we didn't answer the door all day woooo hoooo! Presently there is no door knocking in the night or generally early morning so it seems the dementia tablets are working :-)

I shall attempt to blog more!

Looking at my google account I can see that I haven't bogged for a while. I have written some more poetry but as previously state that is at my scribd page where i have had about 1500 readers so far! I write for myself but I am pleased that some people have read them :-) http://www.scribd.com/nickbest

Things are so so at the moment, but I am feeling more positive and hopefully things are on the up :-) K is still a down but hopefully starting to feel better, she seems much better in herself which is great.

Graeme has come up with a tai chi website idea for us to explore and hopefully make us able to follow our dreams. We all have love  which many people don't have but a little financial luck wouldn't go amiss!

I am going to start a database of my vinyl as it may need extra insurance, that will be fun to do and listten to some old house tracks in the process, I wonder what the replacement value will be?

We have been enjoying the garden recently and we assumed it would be a cheap way hobby, yeah right! We keep buying stuff for it but if we just keep digging it over for a while and plant what we have it will be therapeutic, as Kirsten says: "I like digging  I do!! hahaha :-)

I love Kirsten!!!!!!

Fax to the Prime Minster 19/01/10 re: Haiti

Fax Message re: Haiti

To: The Prime Minister (fax) 020 7925 0918

Date: Tuesday, 19 January 2010

Cc (by email):

Nick Clegg

David Cameron

Sam Daws 

José Manuel Barroso

President Barack Obama

From:

(Info removed for public publishing!)

Dear Mr Brown

I, like many others, are saddened by the events in Haiti and wish the country a speedy recovery though I feel it will be a long and painful one. 

Nature is a powerful force and I believe that natural disasters such as this will be on the increase around the world including our own Country. Are there adequate contingencies in place to deal with a disaster such as this considering our days of being a self-sufficient island are long gone?

The relief effort organised by many countries is commendable but I am dismayed at the time it is taking to get it to the outer-lying regions. I also understand that security measures must be put in place for the safety of everyone in Haiti as people become hungry, frustrated and martial law begins to take over.

However I am extremely concerned with the Agenda of America in this relief effort especially taking in to consideration its position to Cuba. An aircraft carrier was quick to assist and now we hear that aid is being delayed getting in to Haiti due to the volume of US military aircraft flying in to the country as well as America taking over control of the airports.

To be honest this is beginning to sound like a military take over and I am hopeful that the UK, The United Nations, European Union will be strong enough to maintain some control of the situation and ensure the people of Haiti and the rebuilding of the country remains the main priority.

I would welcome comments and assurances from all recipients of this email.

Yours sincerely

Kerry Katona, Iceland Adverising and Improving the Quality of my Interests (from my old blog)

On my No: 492 bus from Conway Park Bus Station to the corner of Shrewsbury Road/Howbeck Road this morning, I saw a poster inside the bus (saw the same poster on the outside of a bus yesterday) featuring Kerry Katona advertising that Iceland will do free home deliveries for purchase of over £25: meaning you can get the bus home and get your shopping delivered by van.

Why is Kerry Katona advertising this, looking all smug on the poster?
When was the last time she got a bus?

She drives around in a big new Range Rover and is known for rows, drinking and snorting Cocaine!

Am I being unnneccassarly defamatorty of her? Is this libel?

She hasn’t really got a career anymore, long gone are the “Atomic Kitten” days! She may write the odd column or two in tabloid newspapers, but as far as I recall she just talks about herself or people slagging her off! She does appear in OK magazine and others like that being photoed with her kids and husband (another dubious looking character).

Is it right that we fund her life, habits etc by only reading about her? Is that a career?

Does she and other “celebrities” make scandals up just so they appear more interesting so we may want to purchase a tabloid to read about it?

Do I care if she snorts cocaine?
Do I care if she has had a row with her mum?
Do I care if she has a drink when she is pregnant?

I don’t care if she does any of the above but I think she should EARN her money - Why should people be brain-washed in to thinking she and her life is interesting? Why should the general public fund her life?

Again the media are exploiting the publics apathy. These stories will always be there until the public stop buying tabloid publications (Tabloids are not the only ones to blame I guess).

I do care that I know this much about her and will try to make a positive move to ensure that I do not know so much about her and other celebrities!

I will make an effort to read about issues in the world that bother me or increase my knowledge on things that interest me like “The History of Britain”.

Apathy the 20th Century Social Disease (from my old blog)

Wilkipedia: Apathy is a state of indifference — where an individual has an absence of interest or concern to certain aspects of emotional, social, or physical life.

I am guilty - and so are we all!

We all say we are going to do more to reduce carbon emissions and help the planet but we never do or are times changing?

Just seen an article on the BBC news website that 80% of people would be willing to do more to reduce carbon emissions by paying more tax etc, but do we mean what we say? I am alwys dubious of polls - no one has ever asked me for an opinion in 40 years.

Last night we watched TV, we made sure we switched the lights off and had 2x candle lit in the lounge, this must have helped.

What if everybody in the world didn’t use electricity for one day a month would it make a difference?

Socially it would benefit families and friends, perhaps we would play board games and make us more socially interactive? It may force us to talk about issues that bother us all, perhaps it would solve some relationship problems too, stopping us from watching the TV with goggle eyes?

OK I admit that we would have to keep power ot hospitals and the emergency services and the armed forces, so in reality I guess it would never work. If it was voluntary would we really do it?

If the television service stopped broadcasting for a day how many people would turn on the TV just to make sure that nothing was on?

Empty offices don’t need the lights on at night and we don’t need to leave lights on when we are not at home or in empty rooms, take the television off standby at night.

Imagine no internet? It has grown so much in such a short time, and now $100 computers will be sent to the third world? What about wind up computers like the radio which has changed so many lives? An organisation is now to send wind up lights to Africa, why just Africa and other poor countries, why aren’t we all going to use these?

This is another topic in itself!

Do we really mean what we say or when it came to the crunch would we think “I bet our neighbours or other people in the world probably aren’t doing it so why should we?”

A new “Yellow Pages” has just been delivered at work - why do they send them out to every house and business, so much paper that will never be used, we use the internet to serch for telephone numbers, business adresses, they have a website they even advertise it on the front cover. It may be made form recycled paper or partly so but such an unneccassary waste!

I am finding it hard to concentrate on one particular subject as so many things are flying round my brain and one thing links to another so easily.

If I hadn’t been so apathetic within my life would I have acheived more and become a better person? Have I left it too late to make a difference in the world? No is the answer I have now made that change, for now anyway, maybe apathy will strike again - that 20th Century Disease. It would be great if others learnt from my mistake, perhaps talking with Kirsten about this at the weekend will spur us both on to make a differnce - I hope so! Perhaps one day just one person will read this article and it will reduce their apathy and encourage them to encourage others to get off their arses and do something less boring instead.

Apathy, I beleive exists ‘cos we have too much time on our hands, that is why we moan that we haven’t enough money, we need money to do things in our spare time. Maybe there are too many choices in life.

Again, the media holds so much responsiblity, showing us in advertisments of all the great places to travel too and to purchase to reduce boredom.

Reducing boredom does’t have to cost much, socialising with friends doesn’t have to cost money, it doesn’t cost anything to talk and interact and discuss topics such as these which may make a difference. We don’t NEED material things but we are led to beleive that we do NEED them or everybody else has them and we dont’ wan’t to be “LEFT OUT” or feel that we are materially or financially inadequate.

We have’t got a car, our neighbours have 3x cars and a company van which according to statistics equals 40 tons of carbon monoxide (David Attenborough stated on a program that the average house produces 45 tons of the stuff a year and one car equals 10 tons).

So maybe Kirsten and I are doing our part already, but we feel self righteous and feel we can justify our plane travels and holidays. So again apathy strikes?

I blame the media for everything, rightly or wrongly, We are fed too much information, too much to even process in our powerful brains, We are shown disasters, wars, crimes against humanity, animals, We are made to feel guilty! We are shown products and services that we are told we need and can’t live with out or strive to afford, getting ourselves in too more debt, or we numb ourselves with alcohol and drugs to reduce the social stigma that not having these things creates. We see people that we put on pedestals, Paris Hilton and other “stars” that make a living by doing nothing but are seen in magazines and papers which we purchase.

Can a footballer justify a salary of £150,000 a week while others starve in the world or a film star who gets paid millions of pounds for one film who will appear in the media begging US to pledge our money to help starving people in countries? Is this apathy on their part or greed or do they beleive thay are doing good by making us feel guilty of apathy?

If everybody with 10 million pounds a year gave 1 million pounds a year to charity would it really hurt them or am I being naive and apathetic expecing others to do more? Just read in the news that Gisele Bündchen (a model) earned $30 million dollars this year up to June!!! She has said she wont work if she gets paid in dollars ‘cos it is so weak on the financial markets!!! She want to be paid in Euros, I know it makes good business sense for her but is she really worth that? NO is the answer!

Bono from U2 does so much to raise awareness for the third world -there is only ONE world! Yet he flies around the world and plays gigs in huge stadiums eating elecricity, what is the size of his carbon footprint or does he do enough to offset it with his good?

I am suprising myself that I have so much to say about so many topics, I so wish I had done this ages ago but it seems to create an endless supply of questions let alone the Twestions that are derived from social gaverings or moments of inner thought so deep in the head! I would like to share the invention of the word “Twestion” but it is probably not socially excepable, will it one end up in the Oxford Dictionery, I beleive it deserves to be! Kirsten got it straight away and I believe many of my friends will grasp where it comes from! Any heading with “Tw” were conceived in that state of mind - am I giving to much away?

Will people find this and read it, apart from anyone I tell about it? Kirsten knows but I don’t think I am ready for any of my friends to view it, If I tell anybody about it I think the first people will be Jackie and Graeme, I think they will understand where I am coming from and going with this? Will people write comments and will I read them? Perhaps it will put me off especially if they are not kind with their words or not in agreement. Am I seeking aproval, I seemed to have spent my life seeking aproval or not doing things incase they are laughed at. I should beleive in myself more!

I think I mentioned earlier on that if one person reads this blog and discussed it with some other people which spurred them on to do something then I have acheived so much!