Today is a good day but very tired!

Lots of fun and games in the news about Rupert Murdoch, News of the World and BSkyB. But I have mainly been sorting out stuff to to sell on eBay, which in turn tidies the house and gets rid of junk. Am seriously considering doing this full time! Watch this space. My memory has been a bit poor today but don't feel so fed up like yesterday, which is good news!

Obviously I have been doing loads of washing in our new direct drive 7kg loads LG washing machine. Brilliant thing"

I am currently installing the OS on an old IBM NetVista x40 which used to retail over £1000! What do you reckon I'll get on ebay?

Been a bit depressed today :-(

A bit down today but loads better than suicidal a month or 2 ago!!! Can't pinpoint why but I guess you just get days like it. If you are reading this, I don't want to bring YOU down so kindly move on to someone else's blog!

Today I am having a good day :-)

We were awake early and I think this is day 12 without alcohol but I did have half a Zopiclone last night. K and j went to town early and I settled down to review eBay and arrange postage for the 3x items sold. I am feeling surprisingly chipped today, whether It's the citalapram 40mg starting work, being busier in my life and the fear and excitement of being a father again at the age of 45?! K is due next march I think?! Not sure what my parents will say about it but who cares I am 44 hehe. I also have to tell Emily soon, I think she will be excited, but I have a few weeks before I tell her :-) 

I'm back again to try and maintain my blog!

Since my last entry i have been plagued by my demons and been a complete twat on numerous occasions. But times are a changing and so must I!

How i got myself to here is a story and some of my darkest days are ever present and I have hurt k mentally on too many occasions. Thing are changing and from now and I am sure I am coming out the other side in a positive way, the future looks scary and interesting. I shall start filling in the gaps soon.

Thursday 27th Revisited

The Paracetamol drip didn't touch my pain so Morphine was administered orally which failed to stop the pain, so in the early hours I was given a Morphine injection, that seemed to do the trick :-)

I forgot to add that every night I was in hospital I was given a Heparin injection which is to stop my blood from clotting and I had to wear anti-emobilsm stockings for the same reason.

In the morning I was visited by 9 doctors much to the amusement and confusion of the other patients on my ward of 6 beds They seemed to think I was someone important and started asking lots of questions, I remained vague keeping the charade going, some fun must be had out of this) who I shall give a quick description of:

Opposite me was an elderly man, can't remember why he was there, but he kept trying to remove his catheter, much to the annoyance and frustration of everybody on the ward or who worked there, no one wanted to see him hurt himself by pulling it out or trying to wander about with it attached and all us patients continually! Chris, who had recently had a Haemorrhoid removal operation but not been able to do No 1's or 2's since, poor bloke, he was in agony :-( There was a lad in his 20's who was passing blood as well as Urine who went home today but came back in tomorrow?! Another guy who was an addict with a severed artery who apparently had been dead for a while but came back. He was waiting for his Methadone for days but managed to cope really well without it hahaha. Another guy who had Pancreas trouble and was in pain. When I moved to 8X on Friday night, Pancreas man and Chris would be there too.

Later this day K visited and came with me as the ported took me for my first scan. Apparently I was totally out of it making my drip tube in to a bubble blower pretending to blow bubbles and not making a lot of sense, this time is extremely vague for me, funnily enough.

This whole period of time just described and the following few days must have been a horrible period of time for K, I can not imagine what she went through, but she was strong for me :-)

I could only drink fluids this day but I slept better, physicals and mentally exhausted!

Wednesday 26th Revisited

The next week or so of entries are classed as "revisited", due to to the fact is actually Saturday 5th June. A lot has happened over the past week or so and I shall try my up-most to make my entries as accurate as possible as it has been a true roller-coaster of events! So here goes!

In the afternoon of last Wednesday I felt progressively worse, with my stomach pains increasing and generally feeling ill :-( I had made my mind up that after work I would go home, speak to K about it and go to A & E. On phoning K she, rightly, suggested meeting me at A & E rather than go home first, most definitely the right decision.

At the Royal I was seen quickly, bloods were taken and the prodding began. I was also diagnosed with being dehydrated which may account for the amount of urine I had passed over the last few days which I had commented on. As far as I remember I was put on a drip there and then?!

One thing must be added here and that is instead of donning a sensible pair of black or white underpants, I had my DJ headphones on, bloody typical eh?

I was given an anal probing by a young female doctor, not top of my list of things to be done but I guess an important way of diagnosis. My diagnosis at this stage was appendicitis,a correct diagnosis. A nurse  asked if he could have a prod about and virtually made my eyes pop out my head, as they say, he hit the nail on the head. Well done him!

Some X-Rays were performed and I was quickly admitted and to ward 8Y.

I have never been to hospital apart from a planned double knee arthrosopy carried out by the NHS in a private hospital, the Spire, in November last year, which I am still awaiting a follow up of 7 months later!

I was allowed to eat a sandwich that night and just drink fluids.

It was a very surreal situation and scary but K kept me in good spirits and was strong for both of us. I had a rough evening and night and was in lots of pain, at one point having one litre of fluids on a drip every 30 minutes.

Lunchtime Review

I still don't feel hungry but ate a toasted cheese sandwich but best to keep my strength up eh?! Still got the the stomach pain and no sign, as yet, of these tablets solving it but maybe I'll wake up tomorrow morning and feel better? Had a look at the BBC website but only bad news to report so can't be arsed to review it! I'm feeling a bit down but I think it is just because I feel rubbish inside. It is confusing for me as I am not sure if it is just a stomach bug or abdominal cramp or is it something more serious and I would benefit from going to A & E pronto and getting it diagnosed and sorted before anything more serious might happen? Am I being a drama queen or making a mountain out of a mole hill? Typical me, I don't want to waste anyone's time or use up valuable resources which could benefit someone else. But if I continue to feel this way I will have to get it sorted.